02 Latino Masculinity Family, Machismo, and the Weight of Expectation with Alejandro Castro

Episode Description

What happens when masculinity means staying silent, holding it all together, and never letting them see you sweat—especially when your family crossed a border so you could succeed?

In this conversation, we sit down with Alejandro Castro, a therapist, TEDx speaker, and spiritual leader working at the intersection of masculinity, culture, and healing. Raised as the first-born son in a Mexican immigrant household, Alejandro shares what it meant to grow up with unspoken rules around manhood, religion, loyalty, and emotional restraint. He walks us through the quiet costs of “being the strong one,” and how machismo—often misunderstood—both harms and protects in Latino communities.

But this episode isn’t just about Latino men. It’s for anyone raised to believe that feelings are weakness—and that your value comes from how well you carry everyone else’s weight.

In This Episode, We Cover:

- The difference between machismo and caballerismo

- The emotional burden on first-born sons in immigrant families

- Why many men turn to spirituality instead of therapy

- How Catholicism shapes vulnerability, guilt, and identity

- What it costs to be “the strong one” for your family

Guest Bio

Alejandro Castro is a therapist, TEDx speaker, and spiritual advisor with years of experience working with Latino men, first responders, and federal agencies. He has trained law enforcement, worked with the FBI, and leads healing work that bridges cultural legacy with emotional growth.

Here is a link to his Ted Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4EDP3_EQhs

This episode centers Alejandro’s lived experience growing up as a Latino man in the U.S.—and how that shaped his views on family, masculinity, and vulnerability. We’ve reviewed a few cultural points for accuracy and added clarifications where helpful:

Supported by Research

- Catholicism and emotional expression: Latino Catholicism often reinforces traditional gender roles while offering structured emotional outlets like confession. (Peña, 1995)

- First-born son pressure: Eldest sons in Latino immigrant families often carry family expectations and serve as cultural bridges. (Suárez-Orozco & Suárez-Orozco, 2001)

- Machismo vs. Caballerismo: Healthy pride and responsibility (caballerismo) are distinct from aggressive machismo and are both active in Latino male identity. (Arciniega et al., 2008)

Framed as Personal Experience

Some moments in the conversation reflect Alejandro’s family and cultural upbringing, which may not apply universally. These are reflections of how many Latino men are raised—but they’re not true of all families or communities. We include them here as insights into a specific experience, not generalizations.

- “Latino men don’t cry”

- “Being called soft is the worst insult”

- “Immigrant parents didn’t come here for you to be depressed”

References

Arciniega, G. M., Anderson, T. C., Tovar-Blank, Z. G., & Tracey, T. J. G. (2008). Toward a fuller conception of machismo: Development of a traditional machismo and caballerismo scale. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 55(1), 19–33. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-0167.55.1.19

Calzada, E. J., Fernandez, Y., & Cortes, D. E. (2010). Cultural values and parenting in Mexican American families. Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology, 31(3), 214–224. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.appdev.2009.05.003

Interian, A., & Díaz-Martínez, A. M. (2007). Considerations for culturally competent cognitive-behavioral therapy for depression with Hispanic patients. Cognitive and Behavioral Practice, 14(1), 84–97. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cbpra.2006.04.005

Peña, M. (1995). Theologies and liberation in Hispanic contexts. Journal of Hispanic/Latino Theology, 3(2), 58–77.

Suárez-Orozco, C., & Suárez-Orozco, M. M. (2001). Children of Immigration. Harvard University Press. https://www.hup.harvard.edu/books/9780674008385

Note: While this doesn’t replace therapy, it might help you notice something worth exploring.