04 Masculine Leadership: Can Control Transform into Competence? Insights from an Air Force Leader.

Wed, 14 May 2025 06:00:00 -0600 ◦ 63 minutes

Description

What does healthy masculine leadership look like in high-stakes environments like the military? In this episode, we sit down with Stephen DeGuzman, a decorated Air Force leader and instructor, to explore what it means to lead through competence rather than control. From transforming toxic work centers to empowering men to own their influence, Stephen brings practical wisdom earned through years of service and mentorship.

Host Tim Wienecke reflects on how Stephen’s leadership changed his own trajectory, offering a rare, vulnerable look at the impact a strong male role model can have. Together, they unpack how good leadership isn’t about barking orders—it’s about developing others, letting go of fear-based control, and showing up with clarity and humility.

Whether you’re a military veteran, a team leader, or just someone trying to lead well in your relationships, this conversation offers tools, stories, and frameworks to grow your leadership without losing yourself.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

- What it means to lead from competence, not control 

- Why control-based leadership is rooted in fear—not strength 

- How Stephen turned a toxic work center into a high-functioning team 

- The hidden cost of carrying responsibility without real authority 

- What it takes to let go of ego and develop others as a leader

Guest Bio: Stephen DeGuzman

Stephen DeGuzman is a retired U.S. Air Force leader with decades of experience in military leadership development, instruction, and mentorship. As a former Airman Leadership School instructor, he shaped the leadership trajectories of thousands of service members. Stephen is known for his no-BS, clear-eyed approach to leadership—grounded in real-world experience and centered on growing others.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/stephendeguzman/

Free Tool: Leadership Debrief Worksheet

This episode comes with a free companion guide: “Leadership Through Competence, Not Control: A Tactical Reset for Men Who Carry Too Much.” This four-week tool helps men assess their current leadership habits, separate responsibility from authority, and lead from strength instead of fear.

➡️ https://americanmasculinity.gumroad.com/l/pytjp?wanted=true

Fact Check & Context

1. "Control isn’t leadership—it’s fear pretending to be strength.” This episode explores the difference between control and competent leadership. This aligns with transformational leadership theory, which emphasizes influence, vision, and empowerment (Bass & Riggio, 2006).

2. “Men are often handed responsibility without the authority to act.” Research in organizational psychology supports this claim—role ambiguity and responsibility-authority mismatches are linked with burnout and disengagement (Kahn et al., 1964; Maslach & Leiter, 2016).

3. “Empowering others is harder—but more sustainable.” Servant leadership and empowerment-based models show long-term gains in performance and well-being across corporate and military environments (Greenleaf, 1977; Hunter et al., 2013).

APA-Style Bibliography

Bass, B. M., & Riggio, R. E. (2006). Transformational Leadership (2nd ed.). Psychology Press. https://www.routledge.com/Transformational-Leadership/Bass-Riggio/p/book/9780805847628

Greenleaf, R. K. (1977). Servant Leadership: A Journey into the Nature of Legitimate Power and Greatness. Paulist Press. https://www.paulistpress.com/Products/3653-7/servant-leadership.aspx

Hunter, E. M., Neubert, M. J., Perry, S. J., Witt, L. A., Penney, L. M., & Weinberger, E. (2013). Servant leaders inspire servant followers: Antecedents and outcomes for employees and the organization. Leadership Quarterly, 24(2), 316–331. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.leaqua.2012.12.001

Kahn, R. L., Wolfe, D. M., Quinn, R. P., Snoek, J. D., & Rosenthal, R. A. (1964). Organizational Stress: Studies in Role Conflict and Ambiguity. Wiley. https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1964-35039-000

Maslach, C., & Leiter, M. P. (2016). Understanding the burnout experience: Recent research and its implications for psychiatry. World Psychiatry, 15(2), 103–111. https://doi.org/10.1002/wps.20311

Note: While this doesn’t replace therapy, it might help you notice something worth exploring.